Losing a loved one
I couldn’t concentrate at work today; I have a lot of emotions running through my soul. My eyes were full of questions my mouth couldn’t express, and I found myself holding my grief inside, even when my heart cried out for help. Maybe I am no longer the person I used to be—strong, enduring, and proactive. But even strong people can break.
If I could own my time like before, I would have called it a day and gone home. Yet here I am, lost in a sea of a million “why” and “why not.” It amazes me how people cannot see the internal struggles and unhappiness that others are facing. Even at a breaking point, they still demand favors and help from me. At times, I wonder why people think I am fine, as if I have no worries, no troubles. Perhaps it’s because I don’t openly share my concerns or ask for help.
Today, I’ve spent more time talking to myself than to any of my colleagues, hiding my emotions to keep them from probing into my problems. But this heaviness is hard to bear. I’ve cried a few times and quickly wiped away my tears. I’ve had a terrible time, but no grief compares to losing a loved one.
My sister Oge, I still can’t believe you are gone. 😭 As I write this on the bus home from work, my heart races and my eyes fill with tears over your passing. Nnem, I am no longer myself. I may not have answers to the million questions in my head, but I trust that God knows what is best. Rest in peace, Aunt M. 😭Indeed, I am heartbroken again. Rest in peace Nnem💔
the untold Realities 