The Abroad Paradise Deception ( when no One is there to Fix You; You fix yourself)

I turned the hot water in a bowel and added a little balm which immediatly increased the heat of the vepor i Then folded my face towel in two equal halves dipped it in hot water and massage my shoulder repeatedly , it was painful but i continued as i have little or no option at my disposal.

It has been three days since the pain on my right shoulder began after few days of painkillers intake without reliefs I decided to do the needful, apply Home medication as was taught by my parentes, and Believe me it worked, i was able to sleep better that night than the previous ones.

I repeated the hot water massages each morning not minding the pains which sometimes baffles me in the sense that i am the same person administrering the painful massage on myself for the relief of the cronic pains. In other words am my own medic a position someone Else could have easily taken if i were to be with my family or back Home but it’s fine it was not my first time of being in such position; I could remember vividly three years ago in Madrid i was rushed to emergency hospital in Spain, One of the best hospital in the world, because of a sevare stomach pain;

When every medical analyses proved abortive, i was asked to provide a next of kin for attestation before i would undergo a process called sigmoidoscopy because i was fast detoriating, i told Them i have no One; the doctors and nures could not Believe but it was true. I had no One, friends that supposed to go to the hospital with me on that day were engaged and Their reasons perfectly understood by me . Fortunatly i was asked to sign the documents myself and because some One related to me supposed to be present during the sigmoidoscopy i was assigned with three female nurses out of pity whose roles, were of immense importance for my Well being while i was operated on ; this story i Will continue another time.

One thing i learned in my decades of Living abroad especially Europe is that of self-Reliants and sufficient. You must standup for yourself because no One Else Will. There is no feeling of entiltlement from anyone except blood relations or families as the case May be. There are many friends but very good few which needful circumstances Will prove you wrong, and in Europe 98% of Them Will dissapiont you and you Will be fine because everyone is fighting his or her battle just like you.

Back Then in Africa as a teenager i was of the opinion that i was entilted to my elder brothers; uncle, cousin’s help to a certain age before reality hit me. So many entiltlements ranging from emotion to accomodation to finanaces and many more ; maybe it’s a Black culture because such does not exits here in Europe. And such decreases our willpower which conditioned Our mindset therefore deminishing Our potentials, I have reliazed that One of the reasons people succeed in Europe is of the fact of Self-reliant with Little or no expectation from people except The government. No One owes you anything and no ones owes you apology. Especially the lives of Lone Black migrants like myself are most affected in the sense that, it’s hard to gain from the system. You must work to feed, you must cook to eat. You must wash and clean your space to be clean and healthy, and you must do Them with open mind without help from anyone because you have no other option, there is no free ride to anything , As a Lone person with no parents and siblings around you are all to yourself and must do the necessary things to survive or bear the grunts. To live abroad One must understand that Nothing is free,

Over the years people in Africa Think abroad is easy where One Can easily Become Rich overnight, I myself was guilty of such narrative when my cousin came back from Germany 1996 with Mercedes-Benz and his white woman, building House and his families Living Well, it Became a fantasy and Dream of every Young boy to travel abroad, this was due the One sided view of life, all We could see was the flashy part without asking questions about the terms and conditions, even when they Try to tell us about Their predecament We often dont Believe in the sense that the person looks fresh, drives a Car and build houses.

It’s a vicious circle which exits til date.

Abroad is good with a right mindset and purpose, its for matured person because 80% of Black migrants in abroad today suffers from mental depression and high blood pressures due ro the realities on ground and conditions they found themselves. Irrespective of your condition you are still expected to do the needful for the families back in Africa whose survivals directly or indirectly depends on you in form of entiltlment or necessities either Way….there are many stories untold and until they are told Our people Will continue to Believe the deception that abroad is Paradise.