The Cost of Being a Father Away From Home!

The present You missed for the future

I hardly ever look at the photo albums on my phone anymore because they make me cry. Yet sometimes, they appear unexpectedly, bringing back memories of my wonderful partner and our children.

Today, I finished making my jollof rice. I know how much they would have enjoyed it if we were together. But once again, I ate alone—not because I wanted to, but because I was hungry, while my heart was somewhere else, with them.

Nothing compares to the pain of being close to the people you love and yet being so far away from them—unable to reach them because of circumstances beyond your control.

I have always loved children, and I grew up in a family where love, togetherness, and parental presence mattered deeply, even when discipline was part of that love. So, when I made the decision to leave my family in the hope of giving them a better future, I knew I would miss them. What I didn’t fully understand was the cost of that distance.

I never really thought about what the separation would mean for my family—not just for me—until I found myself living it.

Sometimes the sacrifices isn’t just financial

The first few months were difficult for me. But sometimes I wonder if they were even harder for my family.

If I could have changed my mind, perhaps I would have. But at the time, circumstances didn’t give me much of a choice.

For nine months, no one has jumped onto my bed to wake me up or disturb my sleep.

For someone without children, that might sound like a blessing.

For a father, it can be heartbreaking.

I haven’t been taking the children to the park. I haven’t been sitting with them during our little learning sessions. I haven’t been there for the ordinary moments that once seemed so insignificant—moments I now realise were actually some of the most valuable parts of fatherhood.

This isn’t my first experience of being a distant father. But this time, something feels different.

After spending so much time together and building a bond stronger than I ever imagined, I have come to realise that the consequences of being a distant father can sometimes outweigh the purpose behind it.

Yes, I want to provide a better future for my family.

But what happens when, in trying to give your children a better future, you lose the present?

The years they are young cannot be repeated.

The birthdays cannot be replayed.

The spontaneous hugs cannot be stored for later.

The little questions, the laughter, the games, the bedtime conversations—all of those moments disappear into the past, whether we are there to witness them or not.

And that is the part nobody talks about when they say, “I’m doing it for my family.”

Sometimes the sacrifice isn’t just financial.

Sometimes, you are the sacrifice.

Still, the circumstances that pushed us into this decision should motivate us to keep fighting for a better future for our children. Providing for them matters. Giving them opportunities matters.

But I have learned that fatherhood is not only about the success our children eventually achieve.

It is also about having the privilege of witnessing them become who they are.

If I could go back in time, I would still want a better future for my family. But I would think much more carefully about the price I was willing to pay for it.

I would treasure our time together more deliberately. I would look for every possible way to improve our circumstances without sacrificing more of the moments that can never be recovered.

Because one day, the money may be earned.

The house may be bought.

The career may succeed.

But the childhood you missed will remain in the past.

So, whatever your circumstances are, before you choose a path that takes you away from your family, think about it—not once, not twice, but a thousand times.

Because sometimes, the greatest cost of providing a better future is missing the present.

“I may not know exactly how this story ends. But I know I am not finished writing it.”

*Untold Realities* is about: **the journey of life, uncertainty, struggle, hope, and the stories we carry along the way.**

Movies don’t make me cry. Realities does!

Real stories need no actors

I can’t remember the last time a movie made me cry. Perhaps it’s because I know the characters aren’t real. That doesn’t mean I underestimate the work of actors, writers, directors, or producers. As a writer and content creator myself, I understand the effort it takes to create a story that moves an audience.

But for me, movies remain stories I watch. Life is a story I live.

Life has its own movie scenes—moments I wish I could capture on film and replay whenever I need to remember what they felt like.

Before writing this, I was lying on my bed, wandering through memories, knowing that work was fast approaching. I hadn’t even prepared my dinner. I eventually got up, moved to the couch, and lay there with my hands over my head.

The pressure was becoming overwhelming. I desperately needed something to distract my mind from the anxiety caused by everything that had brought me to this point. And somewhere in that silence, I think I shed a few tears.

Not because of a movie.

Because I was emotionally exhausted. Empty. Separated from my family under circumstances I never intended or wanted.

The decision to be away from my wife and children was made for a reason—for their good, for our future, and for the possibility of building something more sustainable for all of us. That purpose is what keeps me going, even when the cost of pursuing it feels painfully high.

It has been almost a year since I left, without knowing exactly when I will see them again.

Sometimes, memories of our life together replay in my mind—the laughter, the ordinary moments, the little things I once took for granted. And those memories carry an emotion no movie has ever been able to create in me.

Because some stories don’t need actors.

Some stories are lived.

And sometimes, reality writes the scenes that make us cry.

Life is not knowing what comes next.

How do you deal with uncertainty?

Your super powers lies in moving on

I just finished my Spanish lessons for the day, after another night when sleep refused to come. The night shift has changed my entire life system. Even after a rigorous workout, I can still find myself lying in bed, turning from left to right, hoping for just a few hours of rest.

And then comes uncertainty.

I can barely remember a time when my future felt certain rather than constantly suspended in questions. What happens next? Will things work out? Did I make the right decision?

***Gracias profesora por toda tu ayuda***

I used to believe that the future is what you make of it today. I still believe in taking action, making plans, and preparing for tomorrow. But I have also learned that uncertainty exists regardless of how carefully we plan.

How we deal with it may be the real superpower.

I am not always good under pressure. Sometimes, when reality doesn’t match my plans, I lose myself in my thoughts. I question my decisions, ask, “Why me?”, and replay everything that went wrong.

But eventually, I reflect, learn, adjust, and continue.

Perhaps every uncertainty carries a hidden message—an invitation to become a stronger, wiser version of ourselves.

Yesterday, I went to fitness hoping it would help me sleep. It didn’t. I returned to my studies anyway, carrying the exhaustion and uncertainty with me.

Maybe that’s life: not knowing what comes next, but choosing to keep moving anyway.

How do you handle yourself when life becomes uncertain?

Needless of a proof!

What’s a moment when a stranger completely restored your faith in people?

Proof may not be necessary for faith, but that doesn’t make evidence useless.

We don’t need evidence to believe in God, but humanity will be restored with a small deed of kindness!

Strong trust or unwavering belief in someone or something, frequently without the need for evidence, can be characterised as faith. It can entail having faith in God or a particular religion, having faith in someone, etc. I could only relate to the latter, not the former, in terms of my forty years on this earth and my life experiences! However, life frequently depicts humanity in its best form, regardless of the negative experiences one has with loved ones and those we cherish. I think there are still good people in the world.

It was rush hour on my way to work this evening, and the train station was crowded with passengers boarding and deboarding at every stop. My journey took more than an hour; to avoid being late, I’d rather arrive an hour earlier. However, as the train came to a halt at our second stop, people rushed to board in order to secure a seat. I noticed someone on their knees, struggling to get in, as people of all ages passed by. I was eager to capture what it was until a passenger ran toward the door and helped an elderly woman in her mid-80s get into the train and sit down. I was moved by the male passenger’s gestures toward the woman he had never met before.

Little things in life make a big difference if we can all be compassionate.

Nonetheless, I was stranded on my way home from work earlier this year because I had run out of bus tickets; in other words, I had to buy a 3€ ticket in order to get home, which is an hour’s fast drive from my station. I only discovered my card wasn’t working when I tried to clock in. Tired, stranded, and stressed

After working for eight hours straight, all I wanted to do was go home and rest. I tried explaining to the driver for consideration but was unsuccessful, and it was 4:30 a.m. As I was about to leave the bus, a male passenger approached me and offered to pay for my ticket. I was overjoyed at his kindness and mercy toward me. A stranger watching out for another stranger (me). On rare occasions, strangers’ acts of kindness have restored my faith in humanity through small gestures that melt my heart more than gold and silver. Proof may not be necessary for faith, but a little act of kindness is pathway to restore faith in humanity .

The Good Use of Pain!

If your future self could send you one sentence, what do you hope it would say?

Make Good Use of Your pain

Breathing heavily as I ran to catch my bus, which has irregular schedules, I had just finished my night shift, and it was 3 a.m., having worked for a straight eight hours, but because I desired to get home as soon as possible, I had to sprint the mountain pathway to get my bus, which normally is a twenty-one-minute walk.

Finally I reached the bus station and realized that I had not checked my phone for the past eight hours, picking it up I saw a message from yahoo mail ,July statistics for untold realities I decided to click on it, tho before now I had decided to revisit or better say restart my blog which was hesitantly abandoned because of circumstances beyond..which will definitely come to lime light as we progress.

What single sentence could my future self send me? The heading caught my eye and my thoughts and ignited the flames to my writing prowess and announced my return to Untold realities.com. This was the first time I saw a question of phrase type and I couldn’t let it go

Luckily for me the bus came a minute after I got to the station , so I quickly clocked in and sat down as the air conditioning pelted my tense skin. The sprinting was not in vain, still I have two hours and two more buses to catch before I get home. Writing while on public bus is not new to me, as it moves and swings my mind delved deeper into my future self and the sentence they would have said to me today.

Everyone goes through rough patches in life, but few make use of the pain for a better future… I work, study, pray, and even cry sometimes remembering where I have been, what I had, and what I am missing, but … the future I am fighting for at the moment is one not without struggle but one with greater and better experiences than the past for me and my family, especially my two lovely daughters. Hence, I believe the words from my future self today would be, “Thank you for making good use of your pain in making today better. Thank you for believing and not giving up.”

However I just got off my second bus and looking at the time as I conclude this writing, it’s 04:22 in the morning Tuesday 11 ,2026 I believe a day will come I will come back to this post to appreciate life for a dream come true, Knowing that if I may run in the future after work, it would be for myself (company) with my expensive car. Make good use of your pain .

Knowledge unused is still power stored.

Who was your most influential teacher? Why?

What you learn today may save you tomorrow.

Life teaches us things both directly and indirectly, and it is our responsibility to apply the knowledge we have learned at the time to the situation or individual.

A teacher, also known as an educator, is a professional who works in educational settings to create and carry out instructional strategies in order to assist students in gaining knowledge, competence, or virtue. They are essential for promoting learning and intellectual development. Early childhood, elementary, and secondary education are just a few of the levels at which teachers can work. However, learning is an ongoing process that is not exclusive to humans and continues until the end of life.

It was fascinating to grow up; I wanted something special as a kid. I was bold, inquisitive, and willing to learn, but even though I prioritized learning, life has hidden agendas.

However, a teacher in my early secondary school years stood out not because of his subject (introtech), which is primarily drawing and cannot be compared to other subjects like English, and literature,which I preferred and paid more attention in my early secondary years.

which contributed towards my ability to write this piece for you today.

We all learn and understand differently but some teachings can only be understood uniformly. Every teacher has a different method of imparting knowledge, and it is our responsibility to interpret meaning in order to comprehend it.

The most fascinating aspect of education is that, when properly assimilated, it greatly influences our future, knowledge, and way of thinking. Furthermore, it is not limited by time; depending on the situation surrounding its application, it may be used and requested decades after it was acquired or right away.

My introtech teacher, an elderly man in his late 60s who frequently deviates from his subjects to offer advice in parables, speaks calmly and directly to his students. He always guided his students, to understand that the future is partially, if not entirely, funded mentally by current behaviors, and that long-term goals are preferable to short-term rewards.

However, not every student in my class liked him, as many made caricatures of his advice, but as someone who was raised in a home with similar words and a strong curiosity, I also believe in his teaching and ideas.

One day, he demanded quiet in his class because some students were making too much noise. He said. * Listen to what I say; I am older and more experienced. My advice is intended for your own good. You may not get this kind of advice from your parents or anyone else in your life, which is why you should listen when I speak; no knowledge is a waste. *It is preferable to have knowledge of something and not need it than to need a knowledge and not have it. What you learn today may save you tomorrow.*

Decades after his death, I can still hear what he said. My introtech teacher’s remarks contributed to my understanding of the importance of education, even though my parents had a bigger and more profound influence on my knowledge and intelligence.

My grandmother’s mark!

What tattoo do you want and where would you put it?

“No two stories are the same, and neither are their expressions.”

I’m thinking about getting my third tattoo, but I’m not sure what, where, or when.

The history of tattoos can be traced back to ancient times. As a young child, I was unable to understand the significance of my grandmother’s mark on her right arm, but I could still recall it. Although they had different names for it than “name tattoos,” I was unaware that it was even called a tattoo at the time.

Just as each of us is distinct due to our varied personalities, experiences, and backgrounds, so too are our modes of expression.

A tattoo is a permanent, irreversible design, mark, or text that is applied to the skin by injecting pigment and is used for cultural marking, self-expression, or remembrance. stamping, branding, and body art. They frequently represent personal beliefs, such as an anchor for stability, a bird for freedom, or a phoenix for rebirth; however, because they are susceptible to removal, they are no longer permanent.

Recalling my first tattoo, which I may not reveal for security reasons, was the result of experience, tenacity, faith, and success—though not without luck and God, which I recently acknowledge. While some people would rather have their tattoos visible in an open area, I prefer distinctive, neutral locations that are neither open nor hidden. A written statement that strengthened my struggle for survival and calmed my heart. Despite the fact that it was poorly styled, I adored it. I’ve been asked a few times what your tattoo means, and the most lovely thing about it is that I came up with the words, so it was a prototype. You are in control of your world if you conquer your fears.

My second tattoo came many years after my first; unlike the first, it was a Pinterest arrow depicting success born of adversity. I discovered it online and adore it because of its unique design and simplicity. However, like the first, it was placed on a part of my body that is neither hidden nor visible. My young daughters have frequently inquired as to what it means and why I had them, but due to their age, I read it aloud and explained the drawing for peaceful protest, knowing that until they reach adulthood, they will struggle to understand its meaning and purpose, just as I was unable to understand the markings on my grandmother’s arms. However prior to my adulthood I felt uncomfortable being around people with obvious markings (tattoos) for no apparent reasons until I learned to not judge people whose stories I knew nothing about.

As a result, considering my third tattoo, what and where is futuristic and certain but not imminent? I haven’t decided what to have or where to put it, but it will undoubtedly be measured and characterized by a purpose not dissimilar to the previous ones, but this will be of great significance and importance because of the magnitude of greatness and success that I have witnessed beyond difficulties .

No day is the same!

What do you wish you could do more every day?

We will get better

Days are categorized and measured in the same way; each having twenty-four hours. However, despite their similarities in timing, no two days are ever the same. We often fail to realize or appreciate the opportunities each day presents until they have passed. As my late father used to say, “Had I known” is a brother to Mr. Late.

In our subconscious minds, we tend to overlook the little things that make life beautiful and add value to our existence because of anger, overthinking, pride, and greed. How I wish I could live each day the way I truly want! But then again, what do I really want?

At this moment, as I write this, I find myself feeling mad at my spouse due to a minor misunderstanding, Still, I wish I could kiss her every moment and tell her how much I love her, along with expressing my love to everyone around me.

Also, my biggest wish is to make each day count financially—meaning I want to earn money and make gains each day to adequately take care of my needs and that of my family.

The truth is that energies vary, and no day is the same. But understanding and appreciating the little things around us is the key to making each day meaningful. I love reading, listening to country songs, enjoying quiet environments, sharing laughter, and having deep, meaningful conversations. Eating healthy, exercising, and taking a walk However, all of this seems out of reach when I find myself financially unstable which makes my everyday wishes feel unattainable.

We often don’t realize what we have until it’s lost. Despite having a rough time, I sometimes look at my kids with their stress and endless questions and laugh, feeling blessed and lucky. Life could have been worse but it isn’t. I feel fulfilled knowing that we have a roof over our heads and food on our table, Keeping and raising a family is no easy task, but it is something we cherish deeply. Spending time with them every day is something I wished for and currently doing but every decision comes with its challenges and mine is not isolated however I know it could be better and will surely be better.