If Your thought can make you sick …It can also make You whole …

Holding firmly to the layers of belt provided for stand-by commutters as the bus moves steadly, swaying and dangling side ways mostly at intersections due to it’s multy layer coach, with my back pack hanging on my left shoulder and Two hands up i struggled to catch my feet from swaggring alongside with the bus . I have not been this emotionally traumatized in a decade, like One out of reality i feel deadalive Graudally becoming and extrem introvert to the extent of getting bored by being around people mostly those that contribute Unwanted energy.

Having read few Books on personal growth like (Everyday Heroes,12Rules for life, subtile act of not giving a fuck) etc, i use every medium possible to avart things that doesn’t improve my life inclusive of discussion, emotions and activities ,My thoughts Became my streangth and indirectly my biggest foe.

I realized that a great percentage of my life was a factual One (i live in my thought)

Which was as a result of the circumstances i found myself .

As a migrant of African decent with families back home the current economic situation brought about by recent pandemic and current wars has as a matter of fact worsen my capabilities in providing substantial securities for my family. The most annoying part of the distress comes when people around you both home/ Abroad never believe in stories of your predicament, (like R Kelly in one of his song ).**people look at me and said boy your blessed but refused to see my unhappiness **. The motion that men don’t talk has generally resulted in increase in suicide among men, it very difficult to tell your problems to people that will not listen or believe you , more so laugh and gossip with ur problems other than helping or rendering a good advice. Irrespective of that I strongly understand that I am responsible for myself and no one owes me anything so I better man up and keep pushing.

The past one year has been toughest of my life in a decade most times problems are better managed when it comes in one directions but very difficult when it comes in multiple directions, that’s is exactly what I have faced in the past one year, physically, spiritually, financially, emotionally, Most times I praise myself for not succumbing in the face of them. It’s truth of the saying *You don’t know how strong you are until being strong becomes the only option*. Totally exasperated With thought and ideas on how to overcome my challenges I sometimes become unaware of my behaviors and physical maneuvers (I will be lost in thought ) until something abrupt call back my attention . Suddenly I realized the scantiness of the bus I boarded having enough un occupied seats which skipped my attention because I was factually present

It was then my thought of desperation and predicament was quelled when I saw a white man through the bus transparent door picking what looks like food from waste bin immediately my spirit reminded me how blessed I am despite my current predicament .knowing that irrespective of my circumstances its better to look on the brighter side of life and be optimistic because if ones thoughts can make him/her sad/sick same thoughts can make him/her whole and happy. Every one is going through something Keep strong and never lose hope you will definitely get better.