I used to have a deep love for myself. Life was fulfilling, and I felt content, surrounded by everything I desired. But then, I got married, and I noticed that my self-love began to shift. A considerable part of it was shared with my spouse. Then our first child arrived, and I found that 70% of my self-love had been redirected towards them. At first, I accepted this change. But with the birth of our second child, I realized that almost all of my love had been given away—to my spouse and my children. I began to focus solely on their needs, often putting aside my own desires. I willingly gave up things for myself to provide for them. Every sacrifice I made came from a place of love, and I endured challenges for their happiness.
❤️ Children’s love transcends all ❤️
Despite this, I came to understand something beautiful: that while self-love may nourish the soul, it is selfless love that truly blossoms. Watching my children play, laugh, and express their affection fills my heart with joy and lifts my spirit in ways I never imagined. While self-love can be comforting, witnessing the pure, genuine love of my children is a soothing experience that transcends all. It’s a reminder of the profound depths of love we can share with others.
From the melodies of raindrops to the sweet scent of puddles, combined with the fresh air and cozy atmosphere of cool weather, if you believe that sunshine and snowfall are the epitome of happiness, just wait until you dance in the rain.
It’s August, and my younger brother and I are back from school. We wasted no time preparing the evening meal, as our mother had asked us to do before she returned from the market.
August is well-known for its rainy season in Eastern Nigeria. This time of year is marked by incessant rains, which means we need to be quick with our chores to avoid getting into trouble. The weather has begun shifting from sunny to breezy, and the winds are picking up, signaling that rain is on the way. Thankfully, we completed our tasks just in time.
In Eastern Nigeria during the late ’90s, it wasn’t uncommon to see teenagers dancing and playing in the rain, and that’s exactly what my brother and I were looking forward to as soon as the weather changed…to be continued
Days are categorized and measured in the same way; each having twenty-four hours. However, despite their similarities in timing, no two days are ever the same. We often fail to realize or appreciate the opportunities each day presents until they have passed. As my late father used to say, “Had I known” is a brother to Mr. Late.
In our subconscious minds, we tend to overlook the little things that make life beautiful and add value to our existence because of anger, overthinking, pride, and greed. How I wish I could live each day the way I truly want! But then again, what do I really want?
At this moment, as I write this, I find myself feeling mad at my spouse due to a minor misunderstanding, Still, I wish I could kiss her every moment and tell her how much I love her, along with expressing my love to everyone around me.
It’s ok when our days vary.
Also, my biggest wish is to make each day count financially—meaning I want to earn money and make gains each day to adequately take care of my needs and that of my family.
The truth is that energies vary, and no day is the same. But understanding and appreciating the little things around us is the key to making each day meaningful. I love reading, listening to country songs, enjoying quiet environments, sharing laughter, and having deep, meaningful conversations. Eating healthy, exercising, and taking a walk However, all of this seems out of reach when I find myself financially unstable which makes my everyday wishes feel unattainable.
We often don’t realize what we have until it’s lost. Despite having a rough time, I sometimes look at my kids with their stress and endless questions and laugh, feeling blessed and lucky. Life could have been worse but it isn’t. I feel fulfilled knowing that we have a roof over our heads and food on our table, Keeping and raising a family is no easy task, but it is something we cherish deeply. Spending time with them every day is something I wished for and currently doing but every decision comes with its challenges and mine is not isolated however I know it could be better and will surely be better.
Confidence is a trait that is developed over time and cannot be pinned down to a single act or behavior. A moment of bravery can set someone on a transformative path, but maintaining that confidence is essential to stay on course.
True confidence comes from a deep appreciation of one’s abilities and qualities, coupled with belief in a positive outcome. It is a hidden superpower that many of us possess at different points in our lives. However, only a few manage to sustain that courage in their everyday decisions.
Life, time, and circumstances shape our journeys and relationships. Yet, certain individuals stand out for their unwavering confidence. This can be seen in their decision-making, their navigation through emotional challenges, their intellectual expression, communication skills, conflict management abilities, perseverance, and patience.
Each person’s confidence manifests in unique ways, which adds to the richness of humanity. It’s important to recognize that one should not be judged for lacking confidence in specific situations unless one consistently shows a lack of courage in their daily life. The perception of dreams, perseverance of purpose, and belief in oneself are the fuels that drive confidence.
I dedicate this message to my late mother, who exemplified these qualities even in her final moments, and to you, my wonderful readers, who have persevered to the end of this article. You have all demonstrated remarkable confidence in overcoming life’s challenges. Never let your guard down you might be a shining light to lots of people who look up to your superpowers.
What strategies do you use to cope with negative feelings?
Our shared struggles
For the past month, I have struggled to keep up with my copywriting studies and assignments. Fortunately, there was no strict deadline for their completion. Emotional stress can be overwhelming, especially when the circumstances around us are unfavorable or when it feels like there is no way out toward normality and improvement.
Feelings of anger, fear, guilt, sadness, emptiness, and regret are challenging emotions that can significantly impact our mental health and overall well-being. It is crucial to recognize that we can choose a state of mind that either diminishes our potential or enhances our happiness.
No good comes from emotional trauma.
Emotions do not occur on a specific timetable; rather, they arise from unforeseen circumstances in our daily lives. We are all in this together. Both I, the writer, and you, the reader, experience negative feelings and challenging situations that disrupt our inner peace at some point in our lives. However, not everyone knows how to navigate these emotions effectively. Some people have better strategies for dealing with negativity than others, and while it may seem like a gift, it is certainly one worth having.
The ability to manage emotions depends on various factors, including their causes, personal background, education, age, finances, past experiences, and intelligence, to name a few. All of these elements play a vital role in how we handle our emotions. No matter the perspective, we may find ourselves disagreeing, yet ultimately, we can agree on our shared struggles.
Recently, I found my footing again after taking some time to distance myself from those around me. I spoke less, engaged in deep thought, and asked questions that I could only answer for myself. I paused all engagements and programs to analyze the circumstances that led to my emotions—reflecting on my mistakes as well as my successes. Accepting reality and the necessity of moving forward, I allowed myself to pray and cry. Additionally, I focused on reframing my thoughts and strategies.
By trusting in myself and appreciating the opportunities around me, I gradually shed the burdens of negative feelings and began to feel better. As someone familiar with negative emotions, I have come to terms with the fact that no good comes from emotional trauma. Therefore, my only choice is to make the most of my experiences and find a way to rebuild. Started my studies again today life goes on.
What is your middle name? Does it carry any special meaning/significance?
Key to Counciousnes
Names be they first, middle, or last carry a profound significance that extends beyond simple identification; they act as keys to our consciousness and recognition. Although we often downplay their importance, it is rare—if not impossible—to find someone who would choose to be called “Stupid” or “Foolish,” even if they may sometimes act in ways that could be described as such. Our names narrate our ancestry and illuminate the journeys we have undertaken.
Rare to find one that would choose to be called..
My name is Obianujunwa, as I mentioned in my last article, which relates closely to today’s discussion. It is a unique name found only among the Igbo people of Eastern Nigeria in Africa. It means “came amid surplus.” Names are shaped by various factors, including culture, circumstances, religion, ancestry, vision, and beliefs. Beyond serving merely as a means of identification, names play a crucial role in reflecting and preserving humanity’s heritage, uniqueness, and diversity.
Our names not only describe us; they also tell the story of where we come from and the circumstances surrounding our being.
What experiences in life helped you grow the most?
Trust is not given
Growth is inevitable, regardless of our life experiences. Sometimes situations arise that we wish had never happened, but in the long run, they often become our greatest teachers. Encounters with others teach us lessons, both good and bad. In reality, life will present us with a variety of circumstances, and how we choose to accept and find meaning in them is what truly matters. Trust is like glass; once broken, it can be restored but will never be the same.
People often take advantage of others. One thing about trust is that it typically comes from those we hold dear. As humans, we all have our unique characteristics and things that make us stand out, one of which is my greatest strength, loyalty. I trust wholeheartedly and believe that others will treat me the same way I treat them. Unfortunately, my hope for fair treatment and reciprocal behaviour was dashed early on by people I held dear, which ultimately shaped my expectations of others. I came to understand the importance of trusting myself and being open to people without expectations.
My early childhood experiences of betrayal were deeply painful, but they prepared me for adulthood, which brought its own set of emotional challenges related to trust. Having learnt these lessons early in life, I became aware of the harsh realities surrounding our society and the consequences of placing too much trust in others. This awareness has allowed me to apply these insights in my everyday life, therefore helping me grow while shielding me from disappointments and hurts at the same time.
Providing me with the understanding that my safety and well-being are solely my responsibility and no one else’s while appreciating people responsible enough to offer in return. Believing the assertion that trust indeed is not given but earned.
After returning from the play park with my young girls on what seemed to be a sunny day—perhaps an early hint of summer—I could hear their complaints about the lack of outdoor experiences during the long winter months. With high spirits and enthusiasm, I noticed their sighs of relief when I mentioned going to the playground. Although it was a lovely day with sunshine and cool weather, I couldn’t help but wonder if this was my fate.
Were my current circumstances destined to happen, or were they merely the result of random decisions? Fate can be defined as the development of events outside a person’s control, often seen as predetermined by a supernatural power. It’s challenging to manage the unforeseen circumstances that life throws our way, which seem destined to occur.
This led me to question: What is destiny? Do I believe in it? Destiny refers to events that will inevitably happen to a particular person in the future. As you’re reading this article and trying to grasp the picture I’m painting to illustrate my story, I encourage you to ask yourself if this is fate, destiny, or simply the natural circumstances that bring us together.
Even when you are not you; you are still you!
While I may believe in fate, I must admit that I don’t fully understand how it works. The idea that every challenge I have faced is justified and that my victories were predestined could place me in a difficult position. I also believe that our future is shaped by our actions today. Yet, there are times when circumstances emerge that we, as humans, try to escape but cannot.
Complicated as it may seem, here I am, reflecting on my life—my children, my wife, my jobs, friends, family, admirers, detractors, and my country—wondering if all this is fate, my destiny, or simply a product of random decisions intertwined with the forces of nature. Meanwhile, my spouse has just returned from work, and the atmosphere in our home is alive again; everyone is happy after a day well spent.
It’s much like incarnation; even when you feel disconnected from yourself, you are still you. The same applies to fate and destiny: even if we doubt our circumstances or the journey of life, it remains our story and experience to share.
If you could be someone else for a day, who would you be, and why?
You are your experiences
Rolling on my bed at midnight, I find myself weighed down by an overwhelming tide of thoughts that kept sleep at bay. It’s been two weeks since I lost my job, and the heaviness of being reliant on a single source of income has proven to be a painful reality. My mind races with worries about how I’ll manage my bills and what the future holds for me and my loved ones.
In moments like these, it’s hard not to feel like our circumstances define us, yet deep down, I know we are all unique individuals shaped by our experiences. If given the chance to choose our paths without limitations, many of us—myself included—would likely strive for versions of ourselves that feel more complete and fulfilled. I often wonder, wouldn’t you want a better version of yourself too?
This leads me to ponder a poignant question: If I could be someone else for just one day, who would I choose to be? In light of my current situation, I hesitated to even confront this thought. But in this moment of sleeplessness, I’ve decided to use this time to reflect instead of retreat.
I am my experiences and thoughts
Yet, here I am, embracing the fact that my identity is rooted in everything I’ve encountered. And so it is with you. While I may not cherish many of my past experiences, I wouldn’t trade my life for another, knowing too well that I can’t fully appreciate someone else’s journey without understanding their struggles and victories.
I choose to become a better version of myself, recognizing that I hold the power to shape my future—something I’m only beginning to discover now. It’s all too easy to envy what we see in others: their success, their beauty, their power. We can overlook our own resilience and strength, forgetting that the challenges we’ve faced have made us who we are.
We are not lesser than those we idolize; rather, we are heroes in our own right. The trials we’ve survived could have overwhelmed many, yet here we stand, ready to forge ahead. I’d choose to be me any day, continually seeking to grow richer in spirit, healthier in mind, happier in heart, and better in every sense.
As a teenager, nothing feels more alluring than the freedom of adulthood, the sweet escape from the watchful eyes of parents and older siblings. I can see this yearning in my six-year-old daughter, who often whispers to me, “Daddy, I wish I were 12.” It’s a heartfelt sentiment that reflects a natural stage in life. Many teenagers, having completed secondary school and entering the early days of puberty, experience a profound awakening of self-awareness and a fierce desire for recognition. It’s as if they are convinced they possess invincible superpowers, capable of conquering any challenge that comes their way. I, too, was swept up in that exhilarating tide.
Thank you for your resilience!
To my younger self, I would gently say: take a moment to breathe and savor the journey. The excitement to fully embrace life sometimes led me down paths of reckless decisions, choices for which I still bear the consequences today. I often find myself reflecting on my missed opportunities, especially regarding my education. Dropping out due to financial hardship is a regret that lingers, a reminder of the barriers that once felt insurmountable.
To my teenage self, I urge you to embrace life’s moments but to do so with mindfulness. I understand now that the balance between enjoyment and caution is vital. My own youthful struggles, compounded by a strict upbringing and pressing economic challenges, often meant that I had little room for enjoyment—experiences that I now wish I had allowed myself to embrace.
Trusting yourself is a precious gift. I know how easy it is to seek validation in others, and I too fell prey to that vulnerability. My sincerity and openness sometimes left me exposed to others’ intentions. I realize now that believing others would reciprocate my kindness was a lesson learned through hardship—a truth that still echoes in my life today.
Finally, I want to extend heartfelt gratitude to my younger self for persevering through every challenge and for the tapestry of experiences that have shaped the person I am today. Thank you for your resilience and for laying the foundation of the journey I continue to walk.
the untold Realities 