Category: MY SOCIAL LIFE

One mistake away..

Experience not always the best teacher

Scrolling through my phone as the bus idled in traffic, I had just finished a long day at work, feeling tired and hungry. I couldn’t wait to get home. I decided to check my blog for today’s writing prompt. I hadn’t posted in a while due to circumstances beyond my control, but today’s prompt intrigued me. Unlike the usual repetitive questions or topics, it asked me to share a lesson I wish I had learned earlier.

This topic struck a chord with me and prompted deep reflection. A mix of contempt, anxiety, pressure, and regret washed over me, leaving me uncertain of where my thoughts were headed, but I knew it was not toward a desired destination. I paused and glanced at the prompt again. My mind filled with glimpses of my past—unfulfilled dreams and aspirations that sharply contrasted with my current life. Emotions and frustrations bubbled up within me. I couldn’t help but think about what I could have done better. Route I should not have taken. Every wrong hasty decision. We are one mistake away from a total different experience called life

One decision away from a different life ✌️

If I could turn back time, I would exercise more patience and thoughtfulness in my decisions and actions, even though the circumstances leading to those choices were often sincere and offered limited options. Unfortunately, no amount of regret can reclaim the time spent unwisely.

To me, a lesson is a period of instruction to learn a skill, or an experience that yields valuable insights for future safety and well-being. While I believe in learning from the experiences of others, life often teaches us its own lessons, regardless of how patient, thoughtful, and careful we try to be. We are always just one decision away from a radically different life, which is why it’s essential to exercise patience in our choices. Every decision comes with consequences, and patience can save us from many mistakes and much misery.

I was drawn back by the sudden stop of the bus and was surprised it approached my stop on time, despite the heavy traffic. I felt eager to be greeted by my children and spouse, whose presence not only brings me joy but also eases every atom of regret that has led them to my life.

The value of presence

Describe one habit that brings you joy.

*Memories make a great Dad*

I am starving, Daddy! Could you please help me dish some food? she said. 

“You can serve yourself after all  you served yourself earlier today,” I replied. 

“But Dad, I couldn’t this time. Please help me out!” 

I got up from the couch where I was sitting with her younger sister, who was resting on my arm, pretending to sleep. “Chizzy, wait! I will be back,” I said as I laid her down properly on the couch and covered her with a blanket. I went straight to the kitchen, dishing out rice and stew, then returned to the couch to continue what I was doing. 

Prior to her request, I had been contemplating writing a blog post about the habits that bring me joy. Sundays are particularly special because I am off from wor, unlike week days when I’m often busy with work while Saturdays serve for overtime. This gives me ample time to spend with my family, especially my two young daughters, ages 4 and 6. 

Woke up with a smile🥰

Very early this morning, both of them came out of their room to sleep on my bed. Although it was uncomfortable for me, as I had to squeeze like sardines in a can, I could never imagine telling them not to be there or to go back to their room. 

Again, what habits bring me joy? 

Weekends, especially Sundays, are always special. We have so much time together, knowing this opportunity comes just once a week. We did skits, ran around, played together, enjoyed ice cream, watched movies, and studied. Now they are both tired and hungry. Unfortunately, their mom went out for work, leaving me to care for them alone. Tomorrow, I will leave very early in the morning before dawn, missing the chance for our morning greetings like we had today. 

As I write this, Omalicah, my daughter, is still eating her dinner while her sister is resting on my arm, waiting for their mom to come back before going to bed. Yes, these habits give me immense joy as a parent. The joy of nurturing my children, being present, and watching them grow under my care and guidance are habits that not only bring me joy but also make me feel fulfilled.

The identity you must claim for yourself.

What’s the story behind your nickname?

The funny thing about names is that we seldom choose what we are called.

Names are given to us, and if you’re lucky enough to have one you love, congratulations! You’re in the minority. For the rest of us, we often just go along with the names we’ve been given. 

Before diving into the topic of nicknames and the stories behind them, I encourage you to read my piece titled *Reason for Your Name* for a better understanding of the article. 

Names come into existence through complex emotions, and they are influenced by many factors: circumstances, traditions, events, beliefs, the future, and the state of mind of the person giving the name rather than the person bearing it. Nicknames are no exception. 

Be mindful of what you choose to identify with.

Surprisingly, our nicknames can change as we grow older, unlike our birth names and official names. By now, you might be wondering why I haven’t yet revealed my nickname and the stories behind it. The reason is that I have quite a few, each associated with different times and circumstances, chosen by family members, peers, and friends. From “Sir Booyiant” to “Americana” to “British” to “Big,” people have chosen these names based on their experiences, understanding, expectations, and the dynamics of their relationships with me. 

However, despite having little control over what nickname people assign to you, you do have the right to reject any name that doesn’t define who you are and what you stand for.

The Echoes in the voice

When I was young, my mom recognized the significant influence I had on my younger brother, to the extent that he often followed my lead. As a result, I frequently bore the brunt of the blame for his mistakes, along with the associated punishments. At the time, I struggled to understand her reasoning, though I still hear echoes of her voice: “Do not mislead your brother!”

As I transitioned into adulthood, I realized that many people share my late mother’s perspective. In group settings, affiliations, and workplaces, I often find myself being one of the most sought-after sources for opinions and guidance. Just like back then, I still bear the blame for others’ mistakes. According to them I am popular and therefore indirectly influence People that appreciate my perspectives and admire my opinions. Opinion I still find hard to accept.

Recently, I have delved into content creation focused on parent-child relationships, particularly emphasizing the importance of a father’s presence in their children’s lives. I have been amazed by the tremendous support I receive from the public, especially from our wonderful fans who watch, listen, like, comment, and share our programs. Their love and support reinforce my mother’s insights about my capacity to be an influencer.

While influencing can lead to fame and riches, the key distinction lies in the energy we choose to cultivate rather than merely the number of followers, likes, and wealth we accumulate. Now, as a father of two wonderful young girls, I find myself cautious of my behavior and the impact it has not only on my children but also on those who look up to me. Although I am not perfect, I recognize the importance of cultivating a sense of responsibility in our homes and fostering love and affection in our parent-child relationships. I can still hear the echoes of my mother’s voice: “Do not mislead them.”

Wait until you dance!

What is your favorite type of weather?

Dance in the rain

From the melodies of raindrops to the sweet scent of puddles, combined with the fresh air and cozy atmosphere of cool weather, if you believe that sunshine and snowfall are the epitome of happiness, just wait until you dance in the rain.

It’s August, and my younger brother and I are back from school. We wasted no time preparing the evening meal, as our mother had asked us to do before she returned from the market.

August is well-known for its rainy season in Eastern Nigeria. This time of year is marked by incessant rains, which means we need to be quick with our chores to avoid getting into trouble. The weather has begun shifting from sunny to breezy, and the winds are picking up, signaling that rain is on the way. Thankfully, we completed our tasks just in time.

In Eastern Nigeria during the late ’90s, it wasn’t uncommon to see teenagers dancing and playing in the rain, and that’s exactly what my brother and I were looking forward to as soon as the weather changed…to be continued 

No day is the same!

What do you wish you could do more every day?

We will get better

Days are categorized and measured in the same way; each having twenty-four hours. However, despite their similarities in timing, no two days are ever the same. We often fail to realize or appreciate the opportunities each day presents until they have passed. As my late father used to say, “Had I known” is a brother to Mr. Late. 

In our subconscious minds, we tend to overlook the little things that make life beautiful and add value to our existence because of anger, overthinking, pride, and greed. How I wish I could live each day the way I truly want! But then again, what do I really want? 

At this moment, as I write this, I find myself feeling mad at my spouse due to a minor misunderstanding, Still, I wish I could kiss her every moment and tell her how much I love her, along with expressing my love to everyone around me. 

It’s ok when our days vary.

Also, my biggest wish is to make each day count financially—meaning I want to earn money and make gains each day to adequately take care of my needs and that of my family. 

The truth is that energies vary, and no day is the same. But understanding and appreciating the little things around us is the key to making each day meaningful. I love reading, listening to country songs, enjoying quiet environments, sharing laughter, and having deep, meaningful conversations. Eating healthy, exercising, and taking a walk However, all of this seems out of reach when I find myself financially unstable which makes my everyday wishes feel unattainable. 

We often don’t realize what we have until it’s lost. Despite having a rough time, I sometimes look at my kids with their stress and endless questions and laugh, feeling blessed and lucky. Life could have been worse but it isn’t. I feel fulfilled knowing that we have a roof over our heads and food on our table, Keeping and raising a family is no easy task, but it is something we cherish deeply. Spending time with them every day is something I wished for and currently doing but every decision comes with its challenges and mine is not isolated however I know it could be better and will surely be better.

Your Hidden Super Powers!

Who is the most confident person you know?

You inspire many;Stay on course.

Confidence is a trait that is developed over time and cannot be pinned down to a single act or behavior. A moment of bravery can set someone on a transformative path, but maintaining that confidence is essential to stay on course.

True confidence comes from a deep appreciation of one’s abilities and qualities, coupled with belief in a positive outcome. It is a hidden superpower that many of us possess at different points in our lives. However, only a few manage to sustain that courage in their everyday decisions.

Life, time, and circumstances shape our journeys and relationships. Yet, certain individuals stand out for their unwavering confidence. This can be seen in their decision-making, their navigation through emotional challenges, their intellectual expression, communication skills, conflict management abilities, perseverance, and patience.

Each person’s confidence manifests in unique ways, which adds to the richness of humanity. It’s important to recognize that one should not be judged for lacking confidence in specific situations unless one consistently shows a lack of courage in their daily life. The perception of dreams, perseverance of purpose, and belief in oneself are the fuels that drive confidence.

I dedicate this message to my late mother, who exemplified these qualities even in her final moments, and to you, my wonderful readers, who have persevered to the end of this article. You have all demonstrated remarkable confidence in overcoming life’s challenges. Never let your guard down you might be a shining light to lots of people who look up to your superpowers.

You must rebuild!

What strategies do you use to cope with negative feelings?

Our shared struggles

For the past month, I have struggled to keep up with my copywriting studies and assignments. Fortunately, there was no strict deadline for their completion. Emotional stress can be overwhelming, especially when the circumstances around us are unfavorable or when it feels like there is no way out toward normality and improvement.

Feelings of anger, fear, guilt, sadness, emptiness, and regret are challenging emotions that can significantly impact our mental health and overall well-being. It is crucial to recognize that we can choose a state of mind that either diminishes our potential or enhances our happiness.

No good comes from emotional trauma.

Emotions do not occur on a specific timetable; rather, they arise from unforeseen circumstances in our daily lives. We are all in this together. Both I, the writer, and you, the reader, experience negative feelings and challenging situations that disrupt our inner peace at some point in our lives. However, not everyone knows how to navigate these emotions effectively. Some people have better strategies for dealing with negativity than others, and while it may seem like a gift, it is certainly one worth having.

The ability to manage emotions depends on various factors, including their causes, personal background, education, age, finances, past experiences, and intelligence, to name a few. All of these elements play a vital role in how we handle our emotions. No matter the perspective, we may find ourselves disagreeing, yet ultimately, we can agree on our shared struggles.

Recently, I found my footing again after taking some time to distance myself from those around me. I spoke less, engaged in deep thought, and asked questions that I could only answer for myself. I paused all engagements and programs to analyze the circumstances that led to my emotions—reflecting on my mistakes as well as my successes. Accepting reality and the necessity of moving forward, I allowed myself to pray and cry. Additionally, I focused on reframing my thoughts and strategies.

By trusting in myself and appreciating the opportunities around me, I gradually shed the burdens of negative feelings and began to feel better. As someone familiar with negative emotions, I have come to terms with the fact that no good comes from emotional trauma. Therefore, my only choice is to make the most of my experiences and find a way to rebuild. Started my studies again today life goes on.

When labor fruits are rotten!

What is the last thing you learned?

The dignity fades away

It’s been nearly a month since I lost my job, and the emotional weight of it all has been quite heavy. Trying to find some comfort, I sat down with a cabbage salad, but the joyful noise coming from my children’s room seemed to echo the turmoil I feel inside. Normally, I might gently remind them to lower their voices, but today feels different—far from the routine we used to know.

The reality is that life often throws unexpected challenges our way, like job loss, and it can be hard to anticipate how deeply these events will affect us. After returning from our school runs, I wanted to give my kids a chance to reconnect after being apart all day. On a regular day, I would savor my salad, but today it feels bland against the backdrop of my worries.

Salad tastes different in the midst of worries!

As I’ve reflected on my situation, I realize that I’ve been viewing my circumstances through a negative lens. This afternoon, my kids asked for ice cream and a lollipop—a request they’ve made often this week, especially with the warm, sunny days around us. Unfortunately, I had to tell them, “I don’t have any money today, but I promise we can get some tomorrow.” It breaks my heart to let them down again, knowing that my “tomorrow” has stretched into weeks.

“Dad, how long until you have money?” my eldest daughter asked, her innocent curiosity piercing through my own worries.

How do I explain to them that a month without work has left me with no financial means, no savings to draw upon? It feels so disheartening to think that after years of hard work, just a brief period of joblessness can lead to such a struggle to provide for them—whether it’s paying rent, keeping food on the table, or even buying a small treat like ice cream. It brings to light an important question: what is the purpose of working if it doesn’t secure our family’s needs, our bills, or ensure we can prepare for the unexpected?

In the past, jobs were sources of pride and stability, allowing families to thrive—sending children to school, paying off homes, enjoying vacations, planning for retirement, and saving for those rainy days. Work once held a sense of dignity because it meant providing for loved ones. Yet in today’s world, when the fruits of our labor no longer meet our basic needs or shield us from life’s uncertainties, that dignity seems to fade away.last thing I learned.

Your well-being; Your responsibility.

What experiences in life helped you grow the most?

Trust is not given

Growth is inevitable, regardless of our life experiences. Sometimes situations arise that we wish had never happened, but in the long run, they often become our greatest teachers. Encounters with others teach us lessons, both good and bad. In reality, life will present us with a variety of circumstances, and how we choose to accept and find meaning in them is what truly matters. Trust is like glass; once broken, it can be restored but will never be the same.

People often take advantage of others. One thing about trust is that it typically comes from those we hold dear. As humans, we all have our unique characteristics and things that make us stand out, one of which is my greatest strength, loyalty. I trust wholeheartedly and believe that others will treat me the same way I treat them. Unfortunately, my hope for fair treatment and reciprocal behaviour was dashed early on by people I held dear, which ultimately shaped my expectations of others. I came to understand the importance of trusting myself and being open to people without expectations.

My early childhood experiences of betrayal were deeply painful, but they prepared me for adulthood, which brought its own set of emotional challenges related to trust. Having learnt these lessons early in life, I became aware of the harsh realities surrounding our society and the consequences of placing too much trust in others. This awareness has allowed me to apply these insights in my everyday life, therefore helping me grow while shielding me from disappointments and hurts at the same time.

Providing me with the understanding that my safety and well-being are solely my responsibility and no one else’s while appreciating people responsible enough to offer in return. Believing the assertion that trust indeed is not given but earned.