When You are not you!

Do you believe in fate/destiny?

You are Still You!

After returning from the play park with my young girls on what seemed to be a sunny day—perhaps an early hint of summer—I could hear their complaints about the lack of outdoor experiences during the long winter months. With high spirits and enthusiasm, I noticed their sighs of relief when I mentioned going to the playground. Although it was a lovely day with sunshine and cool weather, I couldn’t help but wonder if this was my fate.

Were my current circumstances destined to happen, or were they merely the result of random decisions? Fate can be defined as the development of events outside a person’s control, often seen as predetermined by a supernatural power. It’s challenging to manage the unforeseen circumstances that life throws our way, which seem destined to occur.

This led me to question: What is destiny? Do I believe in it? Destiny refers to events that will inevitably happen to a particular person in the future. As you’re reading this article and trying to grasp the picture I’m painting to illustrate my story, I encourage you to ask yourself if this is fate, destiny, or simply the natural circumstances that bring us together.

Even when you are not you; you are still you!

While I may believe in fate, I must admit that I don’t fully understand how it works. The idea that every challenge I have faced is justified and that my victories were predestined could place me in a difficult position. I also believe that our future is shaped by our actions today. Yet, there are times when circumstances emerge that we, as humans, try to escape but cannot.

Complicated as it may seem, here I am, reflecting on my life—my children, my wife, my jobs, friends, family, admirers, detractors, and my country—wondering if all this is fate, my destiny, or simply a product of random decisions intertwined with the forces of nature. Meanwhile, my spouse has just returned from work, and the atmosphere in our home is alive again; everyone is happy after a day well spent.

It’s much like incarnation; even when you feel disconnected from yourself, you are still you. The same applies to fate and destiny: even if we doubt our circumstances or the journey of life, it remains our story and experience to share.

Life’s Insatiable Desires!

Describe a phase in life that was difficult to say goodbye to.

Lifetime experience

Sitting at the table with my youngest daughter, Akuoma, as I encourage her to eat while reflecting on my journey as a dad of two is a profound experience. Life moves so fast; my teenage years, when I was single and focused solely on myself, seem like a distant memory. Back then, I felt free, rich in possibilities, and unencumbered, always yearning for more with no one to worry about but myself. At a point, I couldn’t let go of my single nature but Life truly unfolds while we are busy pursuing other things, shaped by the phases and circumstances we encounter.

My childhood was filled with love, kindness, and affection—rich in lessons that may not have appeared glamorous at the time. Each life phase comes with its challenges and unforgettable memories that linger. I recognize the instinct to make decisions, a spark I also see in my first daughter, Omalicha. It’s a natural progression, one I too embraced.

Desires may remain insatiable, but with a mindful spirit, we can navigate them in pursuit of improvement. Often, the wisdom we acquire comes later in life. Adulthood brings a blend of responsibilities and the freedom we seek. At times, we find ourselves yearning for advancement or caught up in the euphoria of our pursuits.

In adulthood, I discovered that my happiness deepened with the desire to have children. That’s when my beautiful daughters entered my world. They are loving and joyful and at times challenging, yet every moment is invaluable. Being a dad and a husband is the most rewarding role I could have imagined.

So here I am, doing my utmost to ensure my daughter has her lunch, even if it involves sharing from her plate something I could not imagine as a single adult yet it’s an experience I would love to have a lifetime.

We are not lesser than those we idolize!

If you could be someone else for a day, who would you be, and why?

You are your experiences

Rolling on my bed at midnight, I find myself weighed down by an overwhelming tide of thoughts that kept sleep at bay. It’s been two weeks since I lost my job, and the heaviness of being reliant on a single source of income has proven to be a painful reality. My mind races with worries about how I’ll manage my bills and what the future holds for me and my loved ones.

In moments like these, it’s hard not to feel like our circumstances define us, yet deep down, I know we are all unique individuals shaped by our experiences. If given the chance to choose our paths without limitations, many of us—myself included—would likely strive for versions of ourselves that feel more complete and fulfilled. I often wonder, wouldn’t you want a better version of yourself too?

This leads me to ponder a poignant question: If I could be someone else for just one day, who would I choose to be? In light of my current situation, I hesitated to even confront this thought. But in this moment of sleeplessness, I’ve decided to use this time to reflect instead of retreat.

Yet, here I am, embracing the fact that my identity is rooted in everything I’ve encountered. And so it is with you. While I may not cherish many of my past experiences, I wouldn’t trade my life for another, knowing too well that I can’t fully appreciate someone else’s journey without understanding their struggles and victories.

I choose to become a better version of myself, recognizing that I hold the power to shape my future—something I’m only beginning to discover now. It’s all too easy to envy what we see in others: their success, their beauty, their power. We can overlook our own resilience and strength, forgetting that the challenges we’ve faced have made us who we are.

We are not lesser than those we idolize; rather, we are heroes in our own right. The trials we’ve survived could have overwhelmed many, yet here we stand, ready to forge ahead. I’d choose to be me any day, continually seeking to grow richer in spirit, healthier in mind, happier in heart, and better in every sense.

Trusting yourself is a precious gift!

What advice would you give to your teenage self?

To My Younger Self (thank You)

As a teenager, nothing feels more alluring than the freedom of adulthood, the sweet escape from the watchful eyes of parents and older siblings. I can see this yearning in my six-year-old daughter, who often whispers to me, “Daddy, I wish I were 12.” It’s a heartfelt sentiment that reflects a natural stage in life. Many teenagers, having completed secondary school and entering the early days of puberty, experience a profound awakening of self-awareness and a fierce desire for recognition. It’s as if they are convinced they possess invincible superpowers, capable of conquering any challenge that comes their way. I, too, was swept up in that exhilarating tide.

To my younger self, I would gently say: take a moment to breathe and savor the journey. The excitement to fully embrace life sometimes led me down paths of reckless decisions, choices for which I still bear the consequences today. I often find myself reflecting on my missed opportunities, especially regarding my education. Dropping out due to financial hardship is a regret that lingers, a reminder of the barriers that once felt insurmountable.

To my teenage self, I urge you to embrace life’s moments but to do so with mindfulness. I understand now that the balance between enjoyment and caution is vital. My own youthful struggles, compounded by a strict upbringing and pressing economic challenges, often meant that I had little room for enjoyment—experiences that I now wish I had allowed myself to embrace.

Trusting yourself is a precious gift. I know how easy it is to seek validation in others, and I too fell prey to that vulnerability. My sincerity and openness sometimes left me exposed to others’ intentions. I realize now that believing others would reciprocate my kindness was a lesson learned through hardship—a truth that still echoes in my life today.

Finally, I want to extend heartfelt gratitude to my younger self for persevering through every challenge and for the tapestry of experiences that have shaped the person I am today. Thank you for your resilience and for laying the foundation of the journey I continue to walk.

A dying Nation

Are you patriotic? What does being patriotic mean to you?

Nation that lack patriot

The concept of expressing devotion and support for one’s country is indeed a noble aspiration. Embracing the established laws, regulations, and services is essential for the fabric of any society. As citizens, patriotism is not merely an expectation but a reflection of our free will and commitment to our homeland.

It is important to acknowledge that no child is inherently inclined to dislike their country; rather, it is the prevailing circumstances and the influence of governmental institutions that shape their sense of patriotism. As someone who has cherished his country of origin since childhood, I have experienced firsthand the challenges of economic hardships and limited access to basic social amenities. Despite these difficulties, my desire for a better future for my country remained strong.

However, as I matured, I became aware of the disconnection between the government and the people it governs. Things I had learned about in school and the realities of my community, state, and region. The support and expectations from my country seemed scarce, leading to a gradual decline in my sense of patriotism. The sacrifices of our past heroes appeared to be overlooked, and institutions designed to safeguard citizens sometimes appeared to act in opposition to their well-being.

I have long believed in the idea that “youths are the leaders of tomorrow,” yet, after four decades, it is disheartening to see a continuity of leadership that does not reflect the vibrancy and potential of our youth and the well-being of its citizens

I maintain that true patriotism can only flourish in an environment where a state honors its heroes, protects its citizens, and treats every individual with equality and respect otherwise the people show their noncompliance and indifference. For a nation that lacks patriots is a dying nation.