The value of presence

Describe one habit that brings you joy.

*Memories make a great Dad*

I am starving, Daddy! Could you please help me dish some food? she said.

“You can serve yourself after all you served yourself earlier today,” I replied.

“But Dad, I couldn’t this time. Please help me out!”

I got up from the couch where I was sitting with her younger sister, who was resting on my arm, pretending to sleep. “Chizzy, wait! I will be back,” I said as I laid her down properly on the couch and covered her with a blanket. I went straight to the kitchen, dishing out rice and stew, then returned to the couch to continue what I was doing.

Prior to her request, I had been contemplating writing a blog post about the habits that bring me joy. Sundays are particularly special because I am off from wor, unlike week days when I’m often busy with work while Saturdays serve for overtime. This gives me ample time to spend with my family, especially my two young daughters, ages 4 and 6.

Very early this morning, both of them came out of their room to sleep on my bed. Although it was uncomfortable for me, as I had to squeeze like sardines in a can, I could never imagine telling them not to be there or to go back to their room.

Again, what habits bring me joy?

Weekends, especially Sundays, are always special. We have so much time together, knowing this opportunity comes just once a week. We did skits, ran around, played together, enjoyed ice cream, watched movies, and studied. Now they are both tired and hungry. Unfortunately, their mom went out for work, leaving me to care for them alone. Tomorrow, I will leave very early in the morning before dawn, missing the chance for our morning greetings like we had today.

As I write this, Omalicah, my daughter, is still eating her dinner while her sister is resting on my arm, waiting for their mom to come back before going to bed. Yes, these habits give me immense joy as a parent. The joy of nurturing my children, being present, and watching them grow under my care and guidance are habits that not only bring me joy but also make me feel fulfilled.

No day is the same!

What do you wish you could do more every day?

We will get better

Days are categorized and measured in the same way; each having twenty-four hours. However, despite their similarities in timing, no two days are ever the same. We often fail to realize or appreciate the opportunities each day presents until they have passed. As my late father used to say, “Had I known” is a brother to Mr. Late.

In our subconscious minds, we tend to overlook the little things that make life beautiful and add value to our existence because of anger, overthinking, pride, and greed. How I wish I could live each day the way I truly want! But then again, what do I really want?

At this moment, as I write this, I find myself feeling mad at my spouse due to a minor misunderstanding, Still, I wish I could kiss her every moment and tell her how much I love her, along with expressing my love to everyone around me.

Also, my biggest wish is to make each day count financially—meaning I want to earn money and make gains each day to adequately take care of my needs and that of my family.

The truth is that energies vary, and no day is the same. But understanding and appreciating the little things around us is the key to making each day meaningful. I love reading, listening to country songs, enjoying quiet environments, sharing laughter, and having deep, meaningful conversations. Eating healthy, exercising, and taking a walk However, all of this seems out of reach when I find myself financially unstable which makes my everyday wishes feel unattainable.

We often don’t realize what we have until it’s lost. Despite having a rough time, I sometimes look at my kids with their stress and endless questions and laugh, feeling blessed and lucky. Life could have been worse but it isn’t. I feel fulfilled knowing that we have a roof over our heads and food on our table, Keeping and raising a family is no easy task, but it is something we cherish deeply. Spending time with them every day is something I wished for and currently doing but every decision comes with its challenges and mine is not isolated however I know it could be better and will surely be better.

You must rebuild!

What strategies do you use to cope with negative feelings?

Our shared struggles

For the past month, I have struggled to keep up with my copywriting studies and assignments. Fortunately, there was no strict deadline for their completion. Emotional stress can be overwhelming, especially when the circumstances around us are unfavorable or when it feels like there is no way out toward normality and improvement.

Feelings of anger, fear, guilt, sadness, emptiness, and regret are challenging emotions that can significantly impact our mental health and overall well-being. It is crucial to recognize that we can choose a state of mind that either diminishes our potential or enhances our happiness.

Emotions do not occur on a specific timetable; rather, they arise from unforeseen circumstances in our daily lives. We are all in this together. Both I, the writer, and you, the reader, experience negative feelings and challenging situations that disrupt our inner peace at some point in our lives. However, not everyone knows how to navigate these emotions effectively. Some people have better strategies for dealing with negativity than others, and while it may seem like a gift, it is certainly one worth having.

The ability to manage emotions depends on various factors, including their causes, personal background, education, age, finances, past experiences, and intelligence, to name a few. All of these elements play a vital role in how we handle our emotions. No matter the perspective, we may find ourselves disagreeing, yet ultimately, we can agree on our shared struggles.

Recently, I found my footing again after taking some time to distance myself from those around me. I spoke less, engaged in deep thought, and asked questions that I could only answer for myself. I paused all engagements and programs to analyze the circumstances that led to my emotions—reflecting on my mistakes as well as my successes. Accepting reality and the necessity of moving forward, I allowed myself to pray and cry. Additionally, I focused on reframing my thoughts and strategies.

By trusting in myself and appreciating the opportunities around me, I gradually shed the burdens of negative feelings and began to feel better. As someone familiar with negative emotions, I have come to terms with the fact that no good comes from emotional trauma. Therefore, my only choice is to make the most of my experiences and find a way to rebuild. Started my studies again today life goes on.

To be called foolish .

What is your middle name? Does it carry any special meaning/significance?

Key to Counciousnes

Names be they first, middle, or last carry a profound significance that extends beyond simple identification; they act as keys to our consciousness and recognition. Although we often downplay their importance, it is rare—if not impossible—to find someone who would choose to be called “Stupid” or “Foolish,” even if they may sometimes act in ways that could be described as such. Our names narrate our ancestry and illuminate the journeys we have undertaken.

Rare to find one that would choose to be called..

My name is Obianujunwa, as I mentioned in my last article, which relates closely to today’s discussion. It is a unique name found only among the Igbo people of Eastern Nigeria in Africa. It means “came amid surplus.” Names are shaped by various factors, including culture, circumstances, religion, ancestry, vision, and beliefs. Beyond serving merely as a means of identification, names play a crucial role in reflecting and preserving humanity’s heritage, uniqueness, and diversity.

Our names not only describe us; they also tell the story of where we come from and the circumstances surrounding our being.

When labor fruits are rotten!

What is the last thing you learned?

The dignity fades away

It’s been nearly a month since I lost my job, and the emotional weight of it all has been quite heavy. Trying to find some comfort, I sat down with a cabbage salad, but the joyful noise coming from my children’s room seemed to echo the turmoil I feel inside. Normally, I might gently remind them to lower their voices, but today feels different—far from the routine we used to know.

The reality is that life often throws unexpected challenges our way, like job loss, and it can be hard to anticipate how deeply these events will affect us. After returning from our school runs, I wanted to give my kids a chance to reconnect after being apart all day. On a regular day, I would savor my salad, but today it feels bland against the backdrop of my worries.

Salad tastes different in the midst of worries!

As I’ve reflected on my situation, I realize that I’ve been viewing my circumstances through a negative lens. This afternoon, my kids asked for ice cream and a lollipop—a request they’ve made often this week, especially with the warm, sunny days around us. Unfortunately, I had to tell them, “I don’t have any money today, but I promise we can get some tomorrow.” It breaks my heart to let them down again, knowing that my “tomorrow” has stretched into weeks.

“Dad, how long until you have money?” my eldest daughter asked, her innocent curiosity piercing through my own worries.

How do I explain to them that a month without work has left me with no financial means, no savings to draw upon? It feels so disheartening to think that after years of hard work, just a brief period of joblessness can lead to such a struggle to provide for them—whether it’s paying rent, keeping food on the table, or even buying a small treat like ice cream. It brings to light an important question: what is the purpose of working if it doesn’t secure our family’s needs, our bills, or ensure we can prepare for the unexpected?

In the past, jobs were sources of pride and stability, allowing families to thrive—sending children to school, paying off homes, enjoying vacations, planning for retirement, and saving for those rainy days. Work once held a sense of dignity because it meant providing for loved ones. Yet in today’s world, when the fruits of our labor no longer meet our basic needs or shield us from life’s uncertainties, that dignity seems to fade away.last thing I learned.

Your well-being; Your responsibility.

What experiences in life helped you grow the most?

Trust is not given

Growth is inevitable, regardless of our life experiences. Sometimes situations arise that we wish had never happened, but in the long run, they often become our greatest teachers. Encounters with others teach us lessons, both good and bad. In reality, life will present us with a variety of circumstances, and how we choose to accept and find meaning in them is what truly matters. Trust is like glass; once broken, it can be restored but will never be the same.

People often take advantage of others. One thing about trust is that it typically comes from those we hold dear. As humans, we all have our unique characteristics and things that make us stand out, one of which is my greatest strength, loyalty. I trust wholeheartedly and believe that others will treat me the same way I treat them. Unfortunately, my hope for fair treatment and reciprocal behaviour was dashed early on by people I held dear, which ultimately shaped my expectations of others. I came to understand the importance of trusting myself and being open to people without expectations.

My early childhood experiences of betrayal were deeply painful, but they prepared me for adulthood, which brought its own set of emotional challenges related to trust. Having learnt these lessons early in life, I became aware of the harsh realities surrounding our society and the consequences of placing too much trust in others. This awareness has allowed me to apply these insights in my everyday life, therefore helping me grow while shielding me from disappointments and hurts at the same time.

Providing me with the understanding that my safety and well-being are solely my responsibility and no one else’s while appreciating people responsible enough to offer in return. Believing the assertion that trust indeed is not given but earned.

When You are not you!

Do you believe in fate/destiny?

You are Still You!

After returning from the play park with my young girls on what seemed to be a sunny day—perhaps an early hint of summer—I could hear their complaints about the lack of outdoor experiences during the long winter months. With high spirits and enthusiasm, I noticed their sighs of relief when I mentioned going to the playground. Although it was a lovely day with sunshine and cool weather, I couldn’t help but wonder if this was my fate.

Were my current circumstances destined to happen, or were they merely the result of random decisions? Fate can be defined as the development of events outside a person’s control, often seen as predetermined by a supernatural power. It’s challenging to manage the unforeseen circumstances that life throws our way, which seem destined to occur.

This led me to question: What is destiny? Do I believe in it? Destiny refers to events that will inevitably happen to a particular person in the future. As you’re reading this article and trying to grasp the picture I’m painting to illustrate my story, I encourage you to ask yourself if this is fate, destiny, or simply the natural circumstances that bring us together.

Even when you are not you; you are still you!

While I may believe in fate, I must admit that I don’t fully understand how it works. The idea that every challenge I have faced is justified and that my victories were predestined could place me in a difficult position. I also believe that our future is shaped by our actions today. Yet, there are times when circumstances emerge that we, as humans, try to escape but cannot.

Complicated as it may seem, here I am, reflecting on my life—my children, my wife, my jobs, friends, family, admirers, detractors, and my country—wondering if all this is fate, my destiny, or simply a product of random decisions intertwined with the forces of nature. Meanwhile, my spouse has just returned from work, and the atmosphere in our home is alive again; everyone is happy after a day well spent.

It’s much like incarnation; even when you feel disconnected from yourself, you are still you. The same applies to fate and destiny: even if we doubt our circumstances or the journey of life, it remains our story and experience to share.