One mistake away..

Experience not always the best teacher

Scrolling through my phone as the bus idled in traffic, I had just finished a long day at work, feeling tired and hungry. I couldn’t wait to get home. I decided to check my blog for today’s writing prompt. I hadn’t posted in a while due to circumstances beyond my control, but today’s prompt intrigued me. Unlike the usual repetitive questions or topics, it asked me to share a lesson I wish I had learned earlier.

This topic struck a chord with me and prompted deep reflection. A mix of contempt, anxiety, pressure, and regret washed over me, leaving me uncertain of where my thoughts were headed, but I knew it was not toward a desired destination. I paused and glanced at the prompt again. My mind filled with glimpses of my past—unfulfilled dreams and aspirations that sharply contrasted with my current life. Emotions and frustrations bubbled up within me. I couldn’t help but think about what I could have done better. Route I should not have taken. Every wrong hasty decision. We are one mistake away from a total different experience called life

One decision away from a different life ✌️

If I could turn back time, I would exercise more patience and thoughtfulness in my decisions and actions, even though the circumstances leading to those choices were often sincere and offered limited options. Unfortunately, no amount of regret can reclaim the time spent unwisely.

To me, a lesson is a period of instruction to learn a skill, or an experience that yields valuable insights for future safety and well-being. While I believe in learning from the experiences of others, life often teaches us its own lessons, regardless of how patient, thoughtful, and careful we try to be. We are always just one decision away from a radically different life, which is why it’s essential to exercise patience in our choices. Every decision comes with consequences, and patience can save us from many mistakes and much misery.

I was drawn back by the sudden stop of the bus and was surprised it approached my stop on time, despite the heavy traffic. I felt eager to be greeted by my children and spouse, whose presence not only brings me joy but also eases every atom of regret that has led them to my life.

The value of presence

Describe one habit that brings you joy.

*Memories make a great Dad*

I am starving, Daddy! Could you please help me dish some food? she said.

“You can serve yourself after all you served yourself earlier today,” I replied.

“But Dad, I couldn’t this time. Please help me out!”

I got up from the couch where I was sitting with her younger sister, who was resting on my arm, pretending to sleep. “Chizzy, wait! I will be back,” I said as I laid her down properly on the couch and covered her with a blanket. I went straight to the kitchen, dishing out rice and stew, then returned to the couch to continue what I was doing.

Prior to her request, I had been contemplating writing a blog post about the habits that bring me joy. Sundays are particularly special because I am off from wor, unlike week days when I’m often busy with work while Saturdays serve for overtime. This gives me ample time to spend with my family, especially my two young daughters, ages 4 and 6.

Very early this morning, both of them came out of their room to sleep on my bed. Although it was uncomfortable for me, as I had to squeeze like sardines in a can, I could never imagine telling them not to be there or to go back to their room.

Again, what habits bring me joy?

Weekends, especially Sundays, are always special. We have so much time together, knowing this opportunity comes just once a week. We did skits, ran around, played together, enjoyed ice cream, watched movies, and studied. Now they are both tired and hungry. Unfortunately, their mom went out for work, leaving me to care for them alone. Tomorrow, I will leave very early in the morning before dawn, missing the chance for our morning greetings like we had today.

As I write this, Omalicah, my daughter, is still eating her dinner while her sister is resting on my arm, waiting for their mom to come back before going to bed. Yes, these habits give me immense joy as a parent. The joy of nurturing my children, being present, and watching them grow under my care and guidance are habits that not only bring me joy but also make me feel fulfilled.

The reason I was stressed!

(poem)..The poem was inspired by the writer’s experience—a dad with two lovely young daughters. It narrates the anxiety and pressure that come from working far from home, Watford to Borehamwood

Work

I was stressed from working

Though I did not walk..

Early morning wake-up

Without enough sleep

To catch the early bus

Before my time is up

*A route and my routine

My work and my walk.*

On bus to work

Though I am not the boss

Passing through bushy roads

even When the are busy

Seeing the tired faces

Even on daily basis

Adding to my stress

When they are also stressed

*A route and my routine

My work and my walk.*

How do I feed my kids

If I don’t do weeds

Borehamwood is not Hollywood

Though it makes the movies good

Its pathway made of woods

While I come from the hood

Estree and lots trees like

The beauty and the beast

*The reason was I stressed

was to get rid of my stress *

My routes and my routine

(poem)

Work!!!

I was stressed from working

Though I did not walk..

Early morning wake-up

Without enough sleep

To catch the early bus

Before my time is up

A route and my routine

My work and my walk.

On bus to work

Though I am not the boss

Passing through bushy roads

even When the are busy

Seeing the tired faces

Even on daily basis

Adding to my stress

When they are also stressed

A route and my routine

My work and my walk.

Borehamwood is not Hollywood

Though it makes the movies good

Its pathway made of woods

While I come from the hood

Estree and lots trees like

The beauty and the beast

The reason was I stressed

was to get rid of my stress

A poem inspired by lived experience, reflecting the stress, anxiety, and pressure faced by a working dad with young children.

Selfishness in parenting

Parenting truly requires a great deal of selflessness. Our children not only take up space in our hearts but also influence the values we hold dear. They draw our focus away from self-love, leading us to prioritize their needs and well-being above our own. In many ways, they shape and guide our lives in profound ways. It can be challenging; a person who approaches parenting from a selfish perspective may struggle to embody the principles of intentional parenting. Our time, money, thoughts, and actions inevitably shift to cater to our children’s needs. Balancing our priorities while embracing the sacrifices of parenthood is no small feat, and it’s important to acknowledge the emotional journey that comes with it.A selfish person has no place in parenthood

Self-love nourishes the soul while selfless love blossoms.❤️

I used to have a deep love for myself. Life was fulfilling, and I felt content, surrounded by everything I desired. But then, I got married, and I noticed that my self-love began to shift. A considerable part of it was shared with my spouse. Then our first child arrived, and I found that 70% of my self-love had been redirected towards them. At first, I accepted this change. But with the birth of our second child, I realized that almost all of my love had been given away—to my spouse and my children. I began to focus solely on their needs, often putting aside my own desires. I willingly gave up things for myself to provide for them. Every sacrifice I made came from a place of love, and I endured challenges for their happiness.

Despite this, I came to understand something beautiful: that while self-love may nourish the soul, it is selfless love that truly blossoms. Watching my children play, laugh, and express their affection fills my heart with joy and lifts my spirit in ways I never imagined. While self-love can be comforting, witnessing the pure, genuine love of my children is a soothing experience that transcends all. It’s a reminder of the profound depths of love we can share with others.

No day is the same!

What do you wish you could do more every day?

We will get better

Days are categorized and measured in the same way; each having twenty-four hours. However, despite their similarities in timing, no two days are ever the same. We often fail to realize or appreciate the opportunities each day presents until they have passed. As my late father used to say, “Had I known” is a brother to Mr. Late.

In our subconscious minds, we tend to overlook the little things that make life beautiful and add value to our existence because of anger, overthinking, pride, and greed. How I wish I could live each day the way I truly want! But then again, what do I really want?

At this moment, as I write this, I find myself feeling mad at my spouse due to a minor misunderstanding, Still, I wish I could kiss her every moment and tell her how much I love her, along with expressing my love to everyone around me.

Also, my biggest wish is to make each day count financially—meaning I want to earn money and make gains each day to adequately take care of my needs and that of my family.

The truth is that energies vary, and no day is the same. But understanding and appreciating the little things around us is the key to making each day meaningful. I love reading, listening to country songs, enjoying quiet environments, sharing laughter, and having deep, meaningful conversations. Eating healthy, exercising, and taking a walk However, all of this seems out of reach when I find myself financially unstable which makes my everyday wishes feel unattainable.

We often don’t realize what we have until it’s lost. Despite having a rough time, I sometimes look at my kids with their stress and endless questions and laugh, feeling blessed and lucky. Life could have been worse but it isn’t. I feel fulfilled knowing that we have a roof over our heads and food on our table, Keeping and raising a family is no easy task, but it is something we cherish deeply. Spending time with them every day is something I wished for and currently doing but every decision comes with its challenges and mine is not isolated however I know it could be better and will surely be better.